How can I be a positive Receiver?

This post is the third in a series of four, where we discuss ‘speaking up’ conversations and how these conversations require leadership, in the moment decision making and positive receivership to be successful.

Last entry we discussed micro-leadership moments; if you missed it, it’s available to read here.

Micro-leadership moments are those moments in our daily practice where we are faced with the decision to speak up or not. We left each other last time with the idea that a significant way to demonstrate leadership, is not only speaking up, but being a positive Receiver of the speaking up message.

Being a positive Receiver requires us in the moment to make decisions that can lead to a change of direction in care or approach, and awareness that how we respond can greatly influence and impact those around us. 

In healthcare, we spend so much time, money and resources teaching people to speak up. Don’t get me wrong, this is very important, but why don’t we spend just as much energy and resource teaching people to receive the speaking up message? Maybe this is why speaking up continues to be so hard. 

So how do we step up and be a leader when someone speaks up to us?

RESET our emotions(1) – manage our defensiveness, give the other person the benefit of the doubt, or as described by the Center for Medical Simulation, the Basic Assumption and acknowledge that speaking up, or giving feedback takes courage.

REFRAME – The in the moment decision to either stick to my direction, or change direction based on the new information. We all have biases and filters which influence our decisions(2) and having an awareness of and acknowledging them is difficult and requires a degree of vulnerability. Reframing our thinking takes effort and courage; a definite lion moment! 

ENGAGE: Get curious - What is it they are seeing that I’m not?  

We all have blind spots and they will always be blind spot if we don’t listen to feedback(3).

Read more about Reset, Reframe, Engage and how being a positive speaking up receiver relates to American football, in the article ‘How being a great Receiver can change the game in speaking up conversations’ https://doi.org/10.15694/mep.2019.000204.1

1.              Smith, D.M., Elephant in the room: How relationships make or break the success of leaders and organizations. Vol. 7. 2011: John Wiley & Sons.

2.              Watson, B., L. Jones, and D. Hewett, Accommodating health, in Communication accommodation theory: Negotiating personal relationships and social identities across contexts. 2016, Cambridge University Press, Cambridge United Kingdom. p. 152-168.

3.              Stone, D. and S. Heen, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well. 2015, New York: Penguin Books.